Round at some friends the other evening whose two-year old daughter had been in a bit of state with the flu and woken up for the fifth time screaming from upstairs just as we were getting to the good bits of both dinner and dialogue, I volunteered my services as baby-healer, sacrificed dinner to the gods and went upstairs to work my magic. I picked her up from the cot, pardoning myself for such an unexpected entrance into a lady’s boudoir and placing her over my shoulder as I’d done a thousand times with my own kids and with all those babies from the baby-massage classes I used to teach in the old days, I began my well-practiced hypnotic liturgy, talking in a semi-chanting style, softly, deeply and as resonantly as possible so the sound would reverberate and provide a pleasant sensation of vibration in her chest next to mine. The words themselves didn’t matter as long as I kept them flowing without a break and maintained a steady pace. Of course at first I was conversationally stumbling in the dark as I had no idea at that moment which areas of human interest would best distract her young mind from the intense stress she was evidently feeling. Instinctively I started talking, out of the blue, about the green trees and the birds in the forest. I’m not sure which forest this would have been – we were deep in the city at the time – but following the thread of images that were presenting themselves, I just carried on about the forest and noticed, mostly through my palm which was supporting her middle and upper back, that every time I mentioned the words ‘green trees’, her breathing relaxed a little more. So then I started getting adventurous, following on with the nature theme and discovered that I could pepper the green trees with the sound of the sea and the seagulls and very soon had a whole natural world sequence running that was, as we slowly ambled round and round the room, quickly sending her into a deep slumber on my shoulder. Then, feeling instinctively this was my moment, a good twenty minutes having passed since my opening move, I walked over to the cot keeping my intention as secret so she wouldn’t detect I was executing my exit strategy and wake up. Maintaining the chant – green trees, the sound of the sea and the seagulls – I stood by the cot and waited to see if she’d picked up any signals. I was sure it was safe but continuity was the key – and my reason for writing this as you’ll see – so leaning forward with her on my shoulder, me still chanting hypnotically, I placed her down on her back with my hand still beneath her, placed my other hand on her chest to make up for the warmth lost and waited a while longer. Three or four minutes passed. She was still asleep. So still chanting, I slowly removed my hands but mentally maintained the energetic connection so she’d still feel me with her and holding that connection in my mind, chanting all the while, backed away from the cot walking backwards towards the door as if I was walking in, went downstairs and rejoined my friends at the table. And just as I was about to swallow my first mouthful of delicious trifle, she started screaming again. So back up I went and this time it only took five minutes. She’d just wanted an encore. This continuity of presence, sensitivity and rhythmic pacing of energy is what the Taoists call, ‘four ounces’, meaning that whatever you do, you do as if trying to settle a fractious infant down for the night – always with a light touch – never heavy-handed. So that no matter whether at work, rest or play, you meet all those who cross your path during the course of a day with the same even tempo (of intention, word, body-language and deed), focused softness, patience, compassion, respect and sensitivity as you would when dealing with a defenceless infant. Training yourself to see others and yourself as children in the playground of life helps enormously to demystify the games we all play as adults and allows you to see more clearly what people are asking for on a sub-textual level in any given situation, which puts you at an advantage. In any case it’s more graceful that way – far better than stomping through life like an elephant.
