I had one of those days the other day rushing from one appointment to the next from early in the morning till 10 at night and noticed on finally walking to my parked car to drive home, that in the focused push to get things done, helped along by a fair few cups of tea and glasses of water, I’d completely forgotten to – what’s the polite way of saying it – pass water. Now I happen to have a fairly strong bladder and strong kidneys to support it but by the time I was parking the car, I was anticipating the relief of getting to the loo, as if it was paradise itself. I wasn’t disappointed. It served to reaffirm yet again – and maybe it’s my age talking here – that having a good wee when you really need one, is almost if not as good as sex and the aftermath leaves you every bit as glowing. It reminded me how, as a kid, I used to hold onto it on purpose, especially when nervous – possibly as some sort of infantile auto-erotic device to increase the eventual pleasure of release that would come with voiding the bladder – until one day when I was 11, my Aikido master explained to me how holding on to your wee increases the chances of bladder cancer and how it damns up your energy flow, strains your kidneys and diminishes overall effectiveness in general, since which time I’ve always been conscientious in emptying it when required. That’s why I’d been surprised at myself enough the other day, while finally feeling the blessed relief on arriving home after holding on so long, to write about it today. I feel almost naughty bringing the subject up, so strongly does there seem to be a universal agreement about the totally natural function of urination being something rude, hence the pee-pee style euphemisms used to describe. My awareness of its importance, in fact, mostly stems from once looking after a dear friend who had mysteriously manifested a severe condition wherein his urethra was inhibited to such an extent he could hardly pee at all. I used to work on his kidneys and bladder using Taoist techniques – massage, herbs and occasionally acupuncture and sometimes even be able to bring him some relief from the truly horrible pain and discomfort he was suffering. He’d had every kind of medical test known yet nothing had revealed itself to numerous specialists that would explain the cause. Eventually, it got him down so much, he killed himself. Ever since then, I’ve been mindful to appreciate the ability to pass water freely at will and feel almost honour-bound in his memory, to promote it as something to be celebrated and indulged in as opposed to something to be ashamed of and held back. In fact the Taoists laid great store in the ability to urinate effectively, not only as a major tool for detoxifying the body but also as a way of actually stimulating energy flow to the kidneys and sexual glands. Men, for instance, when urinating in the standing position, should, except while drunk, when operating dual systems of balance and aim is obviously trickier, stand on tiptoes to urinate. This stimulates the energy of the bladder meridian, which runs through the vital organs and down the back of each leg and is said not only to increase kidney energy production and thus stimulate libido levels but also to help prevent or manage prostate cancer. Obviously this method is inadvisable for women, who should simply lift their heels off the ground as high as possible in the sitting position for a slightly milder but equivalent effect. If you are either having problems with incontinence or the more rare but possibly even more horrible inability to urinate when you need to, it indicates a disturbance of the bladder energy and most likely a disturbance of the kidney energy that supports it too. Either condition will respond favourably to a couple of cups of nettle tea daily, preferably picked from the upper leaves of the plant, though store-bought will do and you can help things along by massaging firmly in the area behind both inner and outer ankle bones on each foot for a few moments each day, as this triggers powerful points on the bladder and kidney meridians. And I’d love to come up with a cheeky pay-off line at the end of all that but I fear you’d think I was taking the ****!
