I reluctantly took part in the filming recently of a TV celebrity game show, which shall remain nameless. I’d always found it too boring and turgid to watch in the past, relying as it does on an entirely negative subtext and on the presenter’s rudeness to the guests to secure ratings. I’d allowed myself to be drawn in because of the possibility of raising money for the charity I work with [can I mention the name etc, boss? If so, keep the following, if not, strike it, love, doc x], the Rainbow Trust, who help families of children with terminal illnesses, but as soon as I arrived at the studio, I instantly felt like a fish out of water. My fellow contestants were charming and so were the people who worked on the programme, but the actual experience of standing there during the filming was, once I’d settled into the novelty, even more boring that it had looked on screen. I was leading the game but growing increasingly itchy to escape, so when the cameras were off momentarily, I sneakily but politely requested that my fellow contestants vote me off, so I could get out of there as fast as possible. You know how it is when you simply have to get away. They complied graciously and after giving the presenter the best roasting I could, I left the set, gave my interview, then settled into the back seat of the Mercedes they’d mercifully sent for me and relaxed into the overwhelming relief. at having made my getaway. However, not a few moments had passed before I suddenly felt ashamed of myself and it’s for this reason I’m writing today – to explore shame and how it affects us all so insidiously – and what quick remedy can be applied to ease its pernicious effects. But first, my own shame: for one, I’d lent my presence and energy, albeit for altruistic reasons, to a strain of the culture I abhor and so had gone against my own principles; two, this found me in the position of having to vote someone off, something I found extremely hard and finally chose the contestant I felt was strong enough not to be adversely affected, even if it was just a game – yet it still left a nasty taste in my mouth; three, I didn’t exercise good sportsmanship and might have overrode my intense boredom and restlessness for the sake of winning and stayed the course; and four, I should have given the presenter a more succinct, eloquent roasting, than I did. By the time I arrived home, I felt as if I’d prostituted myself, that I’d displayed bad sportsmanship and was now generally dirty. I noticed with this came a distinct drop in energy levels, a feeling of exhaustion and a drop in my immune system, which triggered the start of a cold. This got my healer’s mind working on how to clear shame as quickly as possible when it arises, for while it serves to point out our weaknesses, once these have been noted and acknowledged with a view to self-correction, once the message has been got, to indulge it further is merely to beat ourselves up and, hence, cause weakness throughout the mind-body-soul complex unnecessarily. So taking myself in hand, I started by having a shower to cleanse my soul. Then I did a round of tai chi to rebuild my strength, though any form of exercise would have done – walking, running, weights, yoga, cycling, or whatever you fancy – it’s the intention behind it that counts. Then I took some Bach Flower remedy of crab apple, which addresses shame and feeling inwardly dirty. Finally, I forgave myself for being human, weak and fallible. In addition to this short shame-dissolving routine, as mentioned in a previous column, unresolved shame, according to the Taoist view, resides in your buttocks. Try placing a palm over each buttock and wobbling your buttocks with gusto, as this releases the memories trapped there. If you go for it now, watch for possible shameful memories it may throw up. If any arise, breathe in deeply, as if wrapping the memories into a bundle inside the breath, exhale fully and see the bundle escape into the air and dissolve. Inhale again, say, ‘I forgive myself all my transgressions now – by forgiving myself now, I ensure I will not repeat my mistakes,’ and carry on as you were – except now, hopefully feeling refreshed, cleansed, re-energised and renewed.
