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Handling the comings and goings of others with equanimity

People come into your life, immortal spirits in human form, and when destiny dictates, they leave again – maybe for a short while, maybe for a long while, maybe not returning again until another lifetime altogether.


And though you know, at the soul level, that each of us is merely a manifestation of the Great Spirit, the Tao and so though it appears we come and go, in fact it’s all just the Tao and the Tao doesn’t go anywhere (because it’s everywhere), at the human level, it will sadden you to the core when someone you love deeply is drawn away from your orbit, however temporarily.

And it wouldn’t do to use your spiritual wisdom and understanding of this as a device to enable you to go into denial about your feelings and so suppress them in the name of enlightenment.

For while your spirit remains serene about the apparent comings and goings on the material plane, your local, human self, feels the pain. And for pain to heal, it must first be acknowledged. So when you feel sad at another’s going, let yourself truly feel that sadness as a physical sensation in the chest and belly. Breathe into it, cry with it if so moved and above all be with it, without trying to mask or change it until it passes naturally of itself.

There is nothing wrong with feeling sadness. Sadness is as beautiful as joy.

Self-pity on the other hand is merely an indulgence that distracts you from the path and weakens your chi, so I’m not suggesting that.

By the same token, there is nothing wrong with feeling joy either. So when you’re with people, allow yourself to feel the full joy of connection at whatever level it occurs. In feeling this joy you express joy to them in every movement of your body, inflection in your voice and nuance of facial expression and that’s what gives your encounters value.

The more value you allow in every encounter, the more swiftly passes the sadness of separation.

Stephen Russell 2014

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