A certain je-ne-sais-quoi-ness
Being in the final/pre-final stage, blessed be, of bringing all the rather huge number of moving parts together for AMPED, in a crescendo of detail management that didn’t exactly start out lightweight from the beginning of the project in the first place – never knew you could say the same thing three times like that in different ways in one sentence and still sound relatively sensible – yes, being at that stage now, that aspect of my mind in charge of discerning and following orderly procedures is in full-power mode.
This isn’t down to neurosis as much as to avoid breakdown of the whole process through an errant filing slip, misplaced crucial message to key team-member, or what-have-you, and the unthinkable moment of debilitating deflation that might provoke, along with the extreme mental turbulence that would provoke in turn, at a time a clear, settled mind is of the essence. As I’m sure you can relate to when you think back to times of extreme activity-demand and how you were driving yourself through to completion at the time.
As you know, it’s all done via the internal dialogue centered in the front sector of the brain.
But, and here’s the point, I’ve been noticing that due to the get-back-in-your-back-and-watch-and-conduct-the-action-from-there method of being in the body and operating it as a vehicle most effectively, not only is the voice of the inner come-on-get-on-with-it coach very kindly and encouraging rather than nasty and acerbic, but that by observing myself in the throes of it from the back of me, I manage to remain really rather relaxed in a physical sense, belly softened, chest softened, back of the neck softened, yet my focus is generally as sharp as the trusty kitchen knife I use to prepare the fruit for juicing each morning.
I mention that, because not only is it the details of AMPED I’m managing in full-power mode, it’s every single detail comprising everything it takes to keep me, as a show, on the road.
And by being back and relaxed, I’m not only accomplishing an implausible amount with relatively little strain on brain or brawn, but am enjoying it far, far more than when faced with equivalent challenges as a younger and no so good at this trick yet man.
And the kitchen and house, and even the studio, are clean and tidy to boot.
I also notice a propensity for creating phrases-with-hyphens-joining-every-word, which I accept is a lexical tick no doubt symptomatic of an underlying stress factor I’m not acknowledging fully, but who cares, it’s fun.
I’m obviously not telling you this because I need you to know about my internal processes for any narcissistic reason, but to possibly inspire you to drop back within and be mindful of your internal dialogue, and pay attention to your inner come-on-get-on-with-it-coach, watching for kindness or nastiness levels in the tone of voice – and above all watching for build-ups of physical tension in the usual key places: back of neck, face, eyes, mouth, jaw, shoulders, arms, legs, belly, back and anywhere I may have missed out, and mentally releasing it, breathing purposefully and smoothly like a martial artist throughout, mind clear with the intention to be miraculously brilliant at everything, yet also to be forgiving of yourself when you bumble or stumble in a human way, because not being forgiven wastes precious chi, purely as an experiment with reality to see what happens.
Sound like a viable feasibility as far as you’re concerned, dear reader?
With love and a certain je-ne-sais-quoi-ness, B-B (Brother-Barefoot)