I go give my mum a treatment once a week whenever I’m in England – I’ve had the privilege of helping her back to health after a bit of critical situation and now make sure to keep it as regular as possible as she’s elderly and relatively frail compared to the stout long distance walker she used to be – and I would not like to imagine her dying and me thinking I hadn’t seen her as often as I could have due to a self-centered agenda of my own, so even though that is self-centered, my inner 5 year old afraid of the grief of losing his mum so doing what he can to see her as regularly as possible so he can get his fill, which also has the side-benefit of helping her stay alive. But whatever it is I’m happy to have the reason to see her regularly as the healer-man, because the son-man wouldn’t be nearly as regular about it.
What was interesting about yesterday’s visit wasn’t the fact Id stepped in dog-shit, though I always do find that juxtaposition of expectations of civilized smelling footwear with the reality of nature and the small irrational horror of it on one’s sole as if it’s actually gone onto one’s soul, and can empathize with whichever selfish, careless dog-owner omitted to scoop it up in the first place, because I’d personally find scooping up dog-shit unpleasant too – what an absurd way to live in fact – for this reason I’m relieved Walter, the magnificent canine person Handbook for the Urban Warrior is dedicated to, is now no longer in form – also he’d be about 803 in human terms if he was and that would be weird.
What was interesting was me doing a perfectly efficient job of cleaning it off, and properly recalcitrant shit it was too, stuck in the grooves of the trainer sole, and she was hovering next to me as if I was a naughty nine year old about to mess up her pristine kitchen and when I suggested she move lest it I inadvertently spray her face as I scrubbed, she reacted just as she used to when I was a naughty nine year old – not that I really was naughty, just resolutely resistant to blind obedience – she got angry. But it was so out of character and unlike who she is now we both just noticed, said nothing and got back to joking around again as per normal.
But it demonstrated so clearly how we all operate simultaneously as a variety of levels, or ages, and we all think simultaneously on a variety of levels, from the most childish to the most universally mature and wise.
As I inferred above, the healer role is the one that has overall brought out the best in me, as it’s necessitated me pushing through self-centeredness into altruism – focusing on the other, literally – but at the same time that’s going on, the teenage rebel is wondering what parties are happening that night, the creative genius is mentally listing corrections that need to happen in a piece of music he’s making, the administrator is remembering all the things in the list he still hasn’t done and so on.
And it’s really down to which bit we wish or are required to light up at any given moment that determines the effect we have on the world.
Until we find the true center behind all the different levels and realms of being, the deepest Tao at the core of it all who just sits there watching from behind all the while and really doesn’t give a shit which way the action goes because it’s eternal anyway so why should it worry about the entertainment in any given moment – if it sucks the big one in this particular time-space fix, there are infinite possibilities for better or different entertainment anyway.
From the vantage point of the back-brain you no longer confuse your identity but can observe as different ages of facets of your former selves come to the fore, without investing in them hence avoiding acting out in regrettable ways.
The Confucian way is to attend to the way you behave, and to curb yourself when tending to act out from your former selves. This of course has its place. But is like sorting out a buckled wheel by attending to the circumference rather than going to the hub to straighten that out so the rest of the wheel will more easily comply with your will,
So attend to retrieving the essential connection with your immortal self by sitting in the back where it resides more and more and by and by you’ll find yourself free of any identity conundrums, and hence free of reactiveness to others when they’re caught in one.
The other main key to this is the heart in the front. Sitting right back inside you have the power of the gods and could easily become aloof or distant and possibly alienated as very few others have the same skill set. So while staying back open the heart region up front and let your natural love, the beauty of your soul, shine forth upon whomever you’re gracing with your presence at the time.
This causes the other to spontaneously find themselves enjoying the same frequency of awareness as you while in your presence, and that makes for far easier and more rewarding conversations and negotiations with others.
Stand with arms out in a T shape, shoulders relaxed, breathing, neck relaxed, breathing, spine elongated, breathing muscles through the body softened, breathing, weight sunk onto the pelvic floor, breathing, presence thrust back inside, and get the sense of flying backwards fast, as if being sucked backwards by a giant cosmic vacuum right into the bosom of the Great Tao herself, which on impact feels like slamming into a huge soft but firm bouncy castle. As you do, allow the Tao to love you. In the same way Krishna allowed his handmaidens to love him, allow the Tao to love you, as you nestle your back into her into the cosmic bosom. And indulge it a moment or two, don’t just rush yourself away into everyday life.
Stay en-bosomed by the Tao, who’s loving you long time now, and wait for her message – there always is one (and me calling her ‘her’ is not to encourage the anthropomorphic tendency, I’m just in a somewhat lyrical kind of mood today) – and wait till the base of the midbrain lights up to indicate a message has arrived. Your mind may be too noisy or busy for it to have impact right now so try it once a day – it takes about 30 seconds – and by and by the effect accumulates until you feel you’re walking around backed into the bosom of the Tao all the time.
The Tao is thought of as mother of all existence and non-existence. I had no idea what I was about to write before I started this piece and find it rather pertinent that I spontaneously began by referencing Shirl The Girl, my beloved mother, and it’s led us to the Great Mama of us all.
May she bless you with infinite shipping container-full’s of beautiful surprises and the power of this full moon make them come thick and fast.
With love, Barefoot Brother, Fellow Child of the same the Great Mother, and Fellow of the Royal Society of Fellows and Marshmallows