Like A Drunken Monkey

Blessed with the grace of a bumbling fool, I stumble through life like a drunken monkey and though through my moments of clumsiness or haste, I piss the odd person off here and there, which causes me momentary regret and has occasionally cost me money and opportunities, it’s fun this ride and I wouldn’t swap it for the world, in itself, a perfect example of the drunken monkey’s mind – for what does this ride I allude to comprise if not the world, or at least my subjective perception of it? What I meant is, it’s fun adopting this mode of riding – drunken monkey style.

You’re possibly familiar with the drunken monkey style of kung fu, in which the practitioner feigns being drunk and not in control of her or his limbs, thus lulling the opponent into a false sense of amused security, when all of a sudden, she or he, manifests a sudden, unexpected pop on the opponent’s nose with utmost dexterity and precision.

The idea is to allow yourself to wobble to the extreme in each position, to the point beyond which you’d lose your balance and then unexpectedly manifest your master move, as if out of nowhere, in the recovery.

This requires being both extremely supple and fully centred, somewhat like a wobbly-doll, whose weighted semi-spherical base enables it to be pushed all the way to the ground without losing its balance.

Sink your own weight into your belly now, way down beneath your navel. Soften all your muscles – let go of rigidity - be supple.

Acknowledge your connectedness to the ground and the power of gravity – take strength from it – feel it surge upwards, as if from the centre of the earth, through the soles of your feet, up your legs and into your lower belly and substantiating you.

Lengthen your spine, as if someone was gently pulling the crown of your head upwards towards the sky by an invisible silver thread, this to counter gravity and keep you upright via the skeletal structure alone, which is what it’s there for, while allowing you to keep your muscles relaxed, rather than trying to use them (erroneously) to hold yourself upright.

And breathe deeply, slowly, luxuriously, sensuously, smoothly, evenly, fluidly and, above all, mindfully, as it’s this that keeps you harnessed to the here and now, as opposed to the there and then, for only in the here and now do you have personal power to manifest the reality you want from moment to moment. There and then, you’re actually nowhere and thus without personal power.

That’s my Wayward Taoist prescription for you today, may it serve you well, so well in fact, you find yourself enjoying the most splendid passage of time you’ve experienced in a long while, replete with a veritable stream of surprises that thrill and delight you to the quick.

With love, Doc