Based on intel gathering this week from the usual movable roster of people I'm lending help to at any given time, seeking to identify meta-themes that might prove helpful – invaluable in fact – the nub, the subtext I'm spotting bubbling at present is this issue of taking responsibility for your life-story and its progression through linear time, specifically in respect of your activities with other people and how they treat and reward you or otherwise for your input. This as opposed to unwittingly assuming or continuing to unwittingly assume the so-called victim stance in respect of the world about you and all who sail in her.
“I feel like he just dumped me – I feel so rejected – do you think he'll text? I just don't understand how he could just cut off contact like that. We were texting each other 10 times a day every day – and the last one he sent was just 'good night, sleep well', with no kiss – do you reckon he thinks it's over?”
Compare that and the uncomfortable feeling and despairing mood it elicits to:
“I'm feeling shaky right now, because with its all-knowing wisdom and mission to manifest my greatest possible good at all times, my subconscious mind has evidently signalled him to distance himself – and though my surface locally/externally-referenced self is naturally feeling the effects of inevitable consequent behaviour-pattern changes, I'm willing to sit back within, in unshakable trust in this all working in my favour, and of course his, even though I haven't a clue how that could look, nor whether it will even involve him as the/my adventure flowers into its next phase”.
By contrast, the latter evokes a sense of grace, valiance and all the noble human qualities we aspire to or would be if we knew our onions.
Or compare feeling-mood elicited likewise from:
“By this age  I should be earning at least a couple of hundred thousand a month – I should be able to afford to buy my own house – fuck it, I should be able to own a luxury holiday villa in Portugal by now – why am I such a loser – why me? I work so hard – I do so much good – why doesn't life give me what I want?”
“Because I'm no longer a child at school, hence no longer under any false impressions that I should have attained to a particular standard in any or all fields of endeavour by any particular age, and in any case have overall realised that comparing myself to others in any way is a game for idiots, because for starters it's necessarily impossible to be privy to the requisite information, and likewise equally impossible to hold any set of valid objective criteria, due to inevitable subjective bias on my part. I don't gauge my life-success and consequent self-worth levels by what I've achieved, or have managed to buy or borrow money to buy, nor do I hold store in whatever judgments others may have of my status, because I fully realise my true worth is evident in the simple fact I'm here at all. Were the Tao not to consider me so, I'd surely cease to be here, or would have not taken from in the first place.
"That's the only gauge I need. Moreover, I also acknowledge the yin yang factor in all manifest reality – so while it might seem as if owning a luxury villa in Portugal would be a source of pure joy, I'm aware it would necessarily carry its downside too, as would anything and everything else I may happen to manifest.
"Hence, I only seek my sense of worth and value from the simple yet unfathomably miraculous fact I exist at all. All else is added bonus. I find when I allow this state of acquiescent grace to dominate my mindset, I feel fully taken care of by life and ironically things on the outside work to my advantage way more too."
Now firstly, I recommend highly taking pencil to pad and copying the two latter non-victim-mode versions 6 times each, because it will generate a proper internal shift, the effects of which I wager will be much to your liking.
And secondly, I recommend applying the gist of it to any issue you've been unwittingly succumbing to self-pity/victim-mentality mode about, if even just fleetingly.
And the way you do it is by first shifting your locus of being backwards, so you're sitting fully occupying your back inside, your mind bearing witness from the back of the skull.
For only back here can you stand behind the story you're telling yourself about you and your life in your prefrontal lobes, and which you've been mistaking or reality itself much if not all of the time.
And only from back here, can you therefore expect to change that story, which is essentially what we're talking about here.
Although it is actually a simple thing to do, because it’s your back after all, to help your mind get involved, just focus on the sensation the breathing is making in your back. Do that for a few breaths a few times a day and it'll be enough to entice your mind to sit back as required.
Incidentally, I'm not suggesting you think the taking-responsibility mode is the ultimate truth, any more than I'm suggesting victim-mentality mode is. We cannot possibly know ultimate objective truth while on the material plane because our very presence in any given scenario alters the field.
I'm merely proposing it as a time-honoured method by which to experiment with the warp and weft of reality and see what transpires.